"If the grain of wheat dies, it bears much fruit" (John 12:20-26). One day in my discernment retreat as I was reflecting on the above text, something came into my mind: a conversation between a seed and a farmer. I considered myself a seed and Jesus the farmer.
My seed, I knew you were undergoing dormancy. I provided good soil where you could receive water for softening your coat. I ensured that there was enough oxygen without any form of pollution. I knew that you needed it for respiration. There was not a single moment that you were lacking any condition for breaking your dormancy, but you have retained it. You had enough time to die but you did not want to. After all my efforts, you came out as if you were preserved by salt. You have become even harder than what you were before! I understand that it is very painful to die, but such is the condition for life: death brings life. Why do you cling to your coat? Don’t you know that I can give you a newer form? I am not tired. I will continue watering you day and night. I really want you to bring forth new life. Please!
My Lord, it was so painful. I could not dare to be disfigured. But I also think that the outer coat you gave me was water proof. Is it possible for you to change my nature? Sometimes I really want to be like other seeds which bear fruits but I do not have enough energy. Continue giving me your grace that one day I may also bear fruit in my capacity.
"Lord, let me be wheat sown in the earth, to be harvested for you. I want to follow wherever you lead me. Give me fresh hope and joy in serving you all the days of my life.”
Lohay, George Gwaltu