It is amazing to hear how we joke about painful experiences
either in us or others. During our workshop on trauma strategies, awareness and
resilience, we had some moments of cracking jokes with one another that “that is
trauma or you are traumatized” but this is one this one way of identifying
hurtful experiences in ourselves. The ability to talk about trauma itself is
healing. Thanks to our facilitators for their dedication and commitment to
guide us into the way of recovery! A major fact remains; we have painful
experiences. These we faced them either before our birth or after.
Significantly, at a tender stage of our development (infancy), we are delicate
which provides ground for any hurts and easily wounded because we are
vulnerable. Mentioning that you are traumatized itself is traumatizing. Should
we then keep silent in shame and resentment? We can respond yes and no
depending on what we want. In case one feels at ease with sadness and pain, we
say yes. The second response is a big “NO” for those who are willing to heal
the deep wounds. Whichever response, there is a reward one positive and
negative respectively. A decision to share your pain (vulnerability) with
someone else will heal you. It all takes courage to share our vulnerability.
Remember that “a problem shared is half or all solved” it is vital to build a
certain level of trust and openness to share your pain with another person.
Find someone who can be able to listen to your story. They may not have what to
offer but their time to listen to you is in itself relieving. We can relate
this to our situation as students in formation. We are called to live in a
communion, sharing in solidarity. We share finances and property why don’t we
share our traumas too? Let us not be mean in sharing pain when we are credited
for our generosity in giving out other things. Like we share a cake at our
founder’s day, why don’t we share pain at a certain hour even it is every day
in order to heal? It is crucial therefore as brothers to share what hurts us as
a tool to maintain healthy relationships wherever we may be. I believe that
once I have underlying pain which none of my brothers know, it magnifies within
me. I start comparing myself with the rest as if they are better. Feelings of
low self esteem and misplaced among fellow students crop up. This will imprison
my peace! One lives as an isolated island. Sharing is definitely important to
the one who feels pain. A challenge comes! The one listening, are you prepared
to respect what you hear from your ‘client’ it calls for a mature level of
confidentiality otherwise individuals shall remain dustbins of traumatic pain.
This is because the “brother” entrusted with our pain is suffering from a
running mouth (he can’t respect privacy of information for long.) In the
gospel, Jesus said that the sick are the ones who need a doctor. It is up to
each one of us to take an initiative in finding a way to recovery.
Ariho Henry Moses